


Ryan takes comfort in his lover

by alley_oops, jennandanica



Series: Citadel: Sam Worthington and Ryan Kwanten [232]
Category: Actor RPF, Australian Actor RPF, Citadel (Journalfen RPG), True Blood RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-19
Updated: 2014-08-19
Packaged: 2019-04-18 00:07:44
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,301
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14200611
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alley_oops/pseuds/alley_oops, https://archiveofourown.org/users/jennandanica/pseuds/jennandanica
Summary: This is a re-posting (archiving) of all logs for the Sam Worthington/Ryan Kwanten storyline in the BDSM RPS RPGCitadel.





	Ryan takes comfort in his lover

**Author's Note:**

> This is a re-posting (archiving) of all logs for the Sam Worthington/Ryan Kwanten storyline in the BDSM RPS RPG [Citadel](http://citadel.dreamwidth.org/read).

[backdated to early March, 2014 after [the boys choose what Ryan's brand will be](http://ryan-kwanten.dreamwidth.org/2954.html)]  
[ **warning** for discussion of branding]

 

Ryan hasn't eaten all day. He can't: his gut has been busy tying itself in knots, so he wouldn't want to risk solid food anyway. Although he does try to drink a little water periodically, figuring it'll be important for him to be hydrated for tonight.

Tonight.

He made use of the Citadel spa and got his balls and ass waxed smooth, mindful that his body will be on show. He wants to look as good as possible, less so for his own ego than for the goal of making his sir proud. He assumes that when Dan positions him to receive his brand, the massive tattoo around his hole - Sam's mark - will be on full display, and he wants any interested guest to have as unimpeded a view as possible.

"You okay?" Sam asks, wrapping his arms around Ryan from behind and kissing his shoulder.

"Yep," Ryan answers, turning to give Sam a smile. "I'm completely fucking terrified. That's okay, right? I mean, it would be weird if I weren't, wouldn't it?" The nervous babbling is kicking in already.

" _I_ think it would be," Sam agrees. "And I'm sure Dan'll expect you to be nervous."

Ryan nods. "All right, then. I'm absolutely okay." He grins again and turns in the circle of Sam's arms to thoroughly kiss his sir. "What about you? Are you nervous at all?"

"About mine or yours?" Sam asks with a grin.

"About mine," Ryan answers, and teases, "you big baby. Your tattoo will be a walk in the park." And god, Ryan can't wait to see it, literally in the flesh.

"I know, which is why I'm not nervous about it," Sam says, laughing, "but yeah, I'm freaking a bit about yours. I think it'll be amazing and I'm really fucking glad we have Dan but there's a part of me that'll be glad when it's over."

"Right." Ryan nods again, and has to stop himself from feeling like a marionette whose strings have been jerked. "I know our friends are waiting, but I'm going to ignore them, okay?" He watches Sam's eyes. "I don't want to be a bad host or anything - it kind of is our party - but I can't think about them."

Sam cups Ryan's face in his hands and stares into his eyes. "Whatever you want to do, however you want to handle how you're feeling, it's all okay. You can touch me, you can focus just on me, you can cry, scream, whatever you need to do. There is not a damn thing you could do that would embarrass me and if any of our friends feel slighted or offended, they're not our fucking friends. They've been invited to share this with us. That should tell them what they need to know."

It's a whole lot of words at once from his lover, and Ryan is a beat slow in absorbing them all. Then he smiles. "Thank you, Sam," he whispers, kissing his husband. So relieved that Sam _gets_ him.

Sam just hugs Ryan. "I love you," he murmurs, pulling back as there's a knock at the door. "That's probably Dan."

Ryan automatically tugs his bathrobe more tightly closed -- ridiculous, really, but he's feeling a little psychologically vulnerable right now. He beams at Dan when the man enters the room, however, then crosses to give the big man a bear hug. "Hi. Hi. Thank you so much for being here," he says softly, and maybe he clings just a tiny bit too long.

"I wouldn't miss it," Dan says, hugging Ryan back and flashing Sam a smile. "How're you feeling?"

"I'm scared shitless," Ryan blurts out, then gives a self-deprecating grin. "But Sam's been trying to help me feel like that's a totally logical response, so we're okay."

"Good, and he's right. It's totally logical. But you know me, you know I'll take care of you, and we've already talked about what to expect," Dan says, grinning back. God he likes these two. They've quickly become two of his favourite clients. And friends. "As much as it'll hurt in the beginning and again whenever we take a break, _if_ we have to take one, you'll actually probably end up getting off on it."

Ryan blanches. "Do you think we'll need a break?" Oh fuck, he hadn't anticipated that. Had counted on the design being simple enough, compact enough, that Dan could burn it all in one precise go, without needing for either of them to pause and rest. Instantly panic begins to roil in Ryan's gut; shit, he's been mentally preparing for one intense pain-filled session. But if there's a break, and his mind starts to regroup, and then he has to start over from square one even while the initial pain rocks through his body... He shakes his head nervously, looking to his lover for help.

"Do you think you can do it all in one go?" Sam asks even before Dan's had a chance to answer Ryan, moving in closer to take his husband's hand.

"We should be able to," Dan nods, unhappy with the way Ryan's looking. The panic on his face. "I know I can do it, especially since we're going with the diathermic rather than cautery. The needle doesn't get hot so I don't have to keep shutting down the machine."

"Okay." Ryan nods calm acceptance, as if he'd only been curious, but betrays himself with the way he hides his flushed cheek against Sam's shoulder. "Then, I guess I'm ready whenever you two say I am."

"I'm all set up downstairs," Dan says, giving them both a soft smile.

"Give us fifteen?" Sam says, wrapping both arms around Ryan.

Dan nods. "No problem. I'll see you down there."

As soon as Dan's gone, Sam pulls Ryan over to lie down with him on the bed.

"Hi," Ryan says softly. He smiles at his husband and pulls back just enough to shrug out of his bathrobe. Then he curls into his embrace again. "You good?"

"I'm great," Sam says, giving him a kiss. "I'm really excited about doing this. Did Dan make things better or worse?"

A sheepish expression crosses Ryan's face. "He kind of scared the hell out of me when he talked about maybe stopping in the middle," he confesses, knowing it's nothing Sam doesn't already know. "I'm not sure what that'll do to me, to my adrenaline... If I'm going to be under, or if..."

Sam nods. "I know. I'll make sure he keeps going unless he really needs the break or I think you do. But you heard him, it should be pretty straightforward."

Ryan smiles, a slow adoring curve of his lips that is only ever aimed at his lover. His husband. "I know," he says softly. "I know you'll take good care of me, no matter what."

"I will. Always," Sam says softly, kissing Ryan again. "We should head down soon, before I end up molesting you instead." He grins.

"But you're going to pamper me later, right?" A teasing glint dances in Ryan's eye. "You'll hold me gently in your arms, even cuddle me if that's what's needed." He grins. "There might even be god-forbid _snuggling_ , but you're man enough to give it to me if I need it, I know."

Sam chuckles, ducking his head a little. "I snuggle," he protests.

"You do," Ryan agrees, "and very well." He kisses his husband. "But don't worry, I'll never tell a soul."

"Thanks." Sam grins and hugs Ryan even tighter, kissing him warmly, but not too warmly, on the lips. He doesn't trust himself when it comes to his boy. Knows what a fucking perv he is. "Let's do this."


End file.
